So I thought I should quickly write this post to tell you of the news I received yesterday evening.
It was around 5:30 that my phone rang and when I answered it was my Dr. calling to answer a question I had dealing with my check up coming up, after he had answered my questions he gave me some more news...... Well it turns out after all pathology came back I actually had a baby in each of my tubes and my uterus. I was floored to think that we may have had 3. Though that news was surprising to say the least I am taking it well. He told me he had never seen anything like this. And wasn't quite sure what to say. Leave it to me to have freakishly abnormal things happen lol that's just who I am I guess!!! Well hope we all can enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend. And I will post more after Monday's visit with the doc. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Rain keeps fallin on my head
So while the title of this post has a literal meaning because it is raining here today, I am smart enough to stay inside and blog.It also has a figurative meaning as well. Lately I have been feeling a lot of different emotions about what has transpired over the last two weeks I feel as though it has been raining on me for days upon days. All of this was completely unexpected which was very naive of all of us as we were all well aware that these kinds of things can happen, But things had gone so well for so long that everything was falling into place, No bumps in our road just smooth sailing. DUH you idiot nothing goes that well !!!!!! You know the saying If it seems too good to be true it usually is!!!! I'm am not going to apologize today for being such a pessimist because I just need to get it all out.I have been through a roller coaster of emotions daily and now I am just Angry, Not angry at the fact that all of this happened to us but just angry that it happens at all. I can not even begin to describe all of the feelings that one can have in time like this and I am very sure that everyone deals with it differently. But I personally have cried, out of sadness, out of anger and out of guilt. I say guilt not because I feel that I could have done anything different to change the outcome but out of guilt for having to bring my family and friends into it all with me especially my two children that just don't quite understand just what is going on with mommy.They are very aware that I am trying to help another family to have a baby but they don't understand mommy going to the Dr. so often and coming back upset or in pain. I am very saddened buy the fact that my 3 yr old was so scared that she felt the need to ask if I was going to die and go to heaven. I never wanted this to affect my family in this way.
But with everything that has happened my feelings about being a gestational surrogate has not changed or wavered, I still want to continue this journey and help these amazing people that are now and forever a part of my life. And for that also I feel guilt and a bit of selfishness. It is just that underneath all of the pain, sadness, and anger, I do know that this amazing journey can have a fairytale : And They Lived Happily Ever After ending.
But with everything that has happened my feelings about being a gestational surrogate has not changed or wavered, I still want to continue this journey and help these amazing people that are now and forever a part of my life. And for that also I feel guilt and a bit of selfishness. It is just that underneath all of the pain, sadness, and anger, I do know that this amazing journey can have a fairytale : And They Lived Happily Ever After ending.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Another unlikely update
Hello everyone, so I thought after the last few days that I needed to update all of you readers with everything that has happened in the last little bit.
When I last posted we had a very sad miscarriage in the works. Well last Thursday I was sure it was all over and that we could move on to trying again. On Monday I had an HCG blood draw to make sure everything had gone back to normal. The results were in Tuesday morning and our nurse called and said for some reason our numbers were still really high and I needed to come in as soon as possible. So iM and I went in only to find out that the numbers were 11000 and that could only mean one thing, I was still pregnant. We were hoping for a miracle as we began the ultrasound. As the scan went on we realized that we had an almost 8 week old baby with a heartbeat not in my uterus but in my right Fallopian tube and would need surgery that day. Talk about a horrible thing for us to see and hear. This kind of thing only happens in less than 1% of IVf patients and it had to happen to us! I was that amazingly low 1%.Tuesday night I had surgery were both tubes were removed do to damage. We are very hopeful that things can only go up from here and this kind of thing can not happen again. We all still have our hearts set on trying again. And have very high hopes after seeing that both embryos that were transferred had taken to some degree, still this is a very sad time for all of us involved we are trying to see that this time maybe was not meant to be and that next time things will be different. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and I will try harder to keep you all updated. Thanks again for reading and following our story.
When I last posted we had a very sad miscarriage in the works. Well last Thursday I was sure it was all over and that we could move on to trying again. On Monday I had an HCG blood draw to make sure everything had gone back to normal. The results were in Tuesday morning and our nurse called and said for some reason our numbers were still really high and I needed to come in as soon as possible. So iM and I went in only to find out that the numbers were 11000 and that could only mean one thing, I was still pregnant. We were hoping for a miracle as we began the ultrasound. As the scan went on we realized that we had an almost 8 week old baby with a heartbeat not in my uterus but in my right Fallopian tube and would need surgery that day. Talk about a horrible thing for us to see and hear. This kind of thing only happens in less than 1% of IVf patients and it had to happen to us! I was that amazingly low 1%.Tuesday night I had surgery were both tubes were removed do to damage. We are very hopeful that things can only go up from here and this kind of thing can not happen again. We all still have our hearts set on trying again. And have very high hopes after seeing that both embryos that were transferred had taken to some degree, still this is a very sad time for all of us involved we are trying to see that this time maybe was not meant to be and that next time things will be different. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and I will try harder to keep you all updated. Thanks again for reading and following our story.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Finally an update
Hello everyone, sorry it has been so long since my last post. But there has been a lot going on. And to tell the truth it is with heavy heart that I write this post.
On Wednesday night just before bed I had noticed a small amount of blood when I was getting ready for bed, Which made me very nervous so I had called my IPS to let them know about it and we all decided to wait it out and see what the morning would bring. When I got up Thursday everything was fine, no more blood not even a little. I decided to be on the safe side, I would call our nurse and let her know what had gone on and she had reassured me that most likely everything was fine and that I should just take it easy for a couple days and wait for our ultrasound on the 6th. So that was my plan but boy did things change very quickly. Within an hour and a half of speaking to the nurse I was doubled over in pain in my left side and I knew I needed to get to the hospital. I spent most of the day having multiple tests performed to tell me that I had a cyst rupture and that everything would be fine and they released me to go home and rest with a follow up u/s the next morning with my RE Dr. to check on the baby.
Friday morning I went in to the u/s feeling quite confident that all was well with the baby and they would reassure me that the baby was doing great. Well that was not the case at all in fact it was very hard for them to even see a gestational sac due to blood covering the sac. But from what they could see the sac was measuring much smaller than it should and they could not see anything in the sac. Can I just say devastating news!!! I was sent to have more blood work just to make sure that the u/s was true. Later that afternoon I received a call that they needed to see me and the IPS early Saturday to discuss our options. We had one more u/s to check on the outcome for sure and the results were the same. The baby had not proceeded like it should and there for our only option now is to stop all meds and prepare for a miscarriage.
With that news we were all very saddened, but know in our hearts that these things happen for a reason! We are all in this together and have decided to try again, Which should be June or July. I will continue to post and hope you all will stay with us through this very upsetting time and continue on this journey with us as we try again. Thank you all for reading and rooting us on. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
On Wednesday night just before bed I had noticed a small amount of blood when I was getting ready for bed, Which made me very nervous so I had called my IPS to let them know about it and we all decided to wait it out and see what the morning would bring. When I got up Thursday everything was fine, no more blood not even a little. I decided to be on the safe side, I would call our nurse and let her know what had gone on and she had reassured me that most likely everything was fine and that I should just take it easy for a couple days and wait for our ultrasound on the 6th. So that was my plan but boy did things change very quickly. Within an hour and a half of speaking to the nurse I was doubled over in pain in my left side and I knew I needed to get to the hospital. I spent most of the day having multiple tests performed to tell me that I had a cyst rupture and that everything would be fine and they released me to go home and rest with a follow up u/s the next morning with my RE Dr. to check on the baby.
Friday morning I went in to the u/s feeling quite confident that all was well with the baby and they would reassure me that the baby was doing great. Well that was not the case at all in fact it was very hard for them to even see a gestational sac due to blood covering the sac. But from what they could see the sac was measuring much smaller than it should and they could not see anything in the sac. Can I just say devastating news!!! I was sent to have more blood work just to make sure that the u/s was true. Later that afternoon I received a call that they needed to see me and the IPS early Saturday to discuss our options. We had one more u/s to check on the outcome for sure and the results were the same. The baby had not proceeded like it should and there for our only option now is to stop all meds and prepare for a miscarriage.
With that news we were all very saddened, but know in our hearts that these things happen for a reason! We are all in this together and have decided to try again, Which should be June or July. I will continue to post and hope you all will stay with us through this very upsetting time and continue on this journey with us as we try again. Thank you all for reading and rooting us on. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)