Transfer day has come and went

Yesterday was Transfer day and everything went great. The embryos this time were even better quality than last time so the Dr. said he is very optimistic. I on the other hand am going forward cautiously optimistic.

We all wore green for good luck even my girls. They are so supportive to me in this journey. I feel blessed to have them.

Yesterday and today I'm on bed rest to make sure the lil beans have a chance to get settled in. I haven't had the cramping that I did last time so I am thinking that's a great sign. I also got some amazing homemade chicken noodle soup and lots of goodies and word searches to keep me occupied. Now we start the dreaded two week wait!!! My pregnancy test isn't until September 9th so we wait..... Or do we?? Lol anyone who knows me knows I will be testing as soon as possible here at home. So wish us luck that we get a positive test and stay that way. I have posted pics of the two lil beans we transferred and a pic of my awesome little girls in their good luck shirts. Here we go again on this amazing roller coaster ride :) :) :)

Getting closer

Well I'm am on day three of Progesterone injections and that means we are very close to transfer day. I personally find that very exciting. We were scheduled for IM to have retrieval today but because her body was an over achiever this time she was ready a day early so she had it done yesterday and they were able to get 10 eggs. So with that said that means instead of the transfer on the 29th it will most likely take place on the 28th. I am very happy that we have gotten to this point again, it feels like a long time coming. It's hard to believe it has been five months since our last transfer. I am very excited and nervous for the road ahead. All your prayers and good JuJu will be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Day 1 of Estrace

Hi everyone, just wanted to do a quick lil update. Sunday was the end of week one on lupron and today was day one of Estrace. So in other words we are trucking right along. I have lining check on the 20th of this month and transfer on the 29th if all is well in IVF land. I am getting excited and anxious all at once. Not gonna lie this time around is a little scary too.

I got to spend sometime with my IM today we went to get an acupuncture consult, in hopes that having a few treatments just might calm my spazzy uterus lol. We gotta keep those lil embies where they are supposed to be. Other than that I don't have much more to update on. I will keep you all posted on all the new stuff as it happens. Thanks again for reading.

A Quick Note

Just a quick little note to say I had my First lupron injection of this cycle and I am very excited to be on the crazy rollercoaster of IVF. Yay!!!!! Wish us luck cuz here we go again.

Hello, we are on the road again!!!!

Just thought I better start blogging again as now I have exciting news!!! We have a calendar and I start my lupron shots on Sunday we have a tentative date for transfer which is August 29th. So if all goes well my amazing intended parents will be proud new parents by May 17th.

This is very exciting for all of us, it is also a little scary given all we experienced last time. But I'm confident that us as a team can make this happen. I will keep updating as we move along in our journey and can't wait to share it with all of you.

Good Morning,Long time no see

 Hello it has been awhile since I last posted and I am very sorry for that. When I last posted we had thought there had been three babies but at my appointment with my Dr. we were told that most likely what I had miscarried was what they call a pseudo-sac, which is basically an empty sac. So there were not three.But still both embryos had taken just not where they were supposed to.

 Just after that I had a call at 5:30 in the morning on what easily turned into one of the worst days so far. I was awoken with a call from my frantic mother telling me my big brother had passed away. Just when you think it can't get worse it does! That is part of the reason it has taken me so long to post an update.

 I also have not posted simply because there isn't much to update about, Since the surgery we have been waiting for my HCG levels to return to normal which my body is finding hard to do, The levels are going down just much slower that we thought they would. It has taken almost a month to go from 48 to 20 and normal levels are less than 5, So I still have a long way to go. I still have to have a normal cycle before we are able to start meds again and that won't happen if I'm still testing positive for pregnancy.So once again we are learning to be patient. But I am hopeful the next round will go well and we can finish it off with a bang. Please bare with us while we get back on track. I also want to say thank you to all of you who have left supportive comments and all of your prayers. It really helps to know we are in your thoughts as you are in ours. Thanks for reading.  

Three?????

So I thought I should quickly write this post to tell you of the news I received yesterday evening.

It was around 5:30 that my phone rang and when I answered it was my Dr. calling to answer a question I had dealing with my check up coming up, after he had answered my questions he gave me some more news...... Well it turns out after all pathology came back I actually had a baby in each of my tubes and my uterus. I was floored to think that we may have had 3. Though that news was surprising to say the least I am taking it well. He told me he had never seen anything like this. And wasn't quite sure what to say. Leave it to me to have freakishly abnormal things happen lol that's just who I am I guess!!! Well hope we all can enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend. And I will post more after Monday's visit with the doc. Thanks for reading.

Rain keeps fallin on my head

So while the title of this post has a literal meaning because it is raining here today, I am smart enough to stay inside and blog.It also has a figurative meaning as well. Lately I have been feeling a lot of different emotions about what has transpired over the last two weeks I feel as though it has been raining on me for days upon days. All of this was completely unexpected which  was very naive of all of us as we were all well aware that these kinds of things can happen, But things had gone so well for so long that everything was falling into place, No bumps in our road just smooth sailing. DUH you idiot nothing goes that well !!!!!! You know the saying If it seems too good to be true it usually is!!!! I'm am not going to apologize today for being such a pessimist because I just need to get it all out.I have been through a roller coaster of emotions daily and now I am just Angry, Not angry at the fact that all of this happened to us but just angry that it happens at all. I can not even begin to describe all of the feelings that one can have in time like this and I am very sure that everyone deals with it differently. But I personally have cried, out of sadness, out of anger and out of guilt. I say guilt not because I feel that I could have done anything different to change the outcome but out of guilt for having to bring my family and friends into it all with me especially my two children that just don't quite understand just what is going on with mommy.They are very aware that I am trying to help another family to have a baby but they don't understand mommy going to the Dr. so often and coming back upset or in pain. I am very saddened buy the fact that my 3 yr old was so scared that she felt the need to ask if I was going to die and go to heaven. I never wanted this to affect my family in this way.

 But with everything that has happened my feelings about being a gestational surrogate has not changed or wavered, I still want to continue this journey and help these amazing people that are now and forever a part of my life. And for that also I  feel guilt and a bit of selfishness. It is just that underneath all of the pain, sadness, and anger, I do know that this amazing journey can have a fairytale : And They Lived Happily Ever After ending.

Another unlikely update

Hello everyone, so I thought after the last few days that I needed to update all of you readers with everything that has happened in the last little bit.

When I last posted we had a very sad miscarriage in the works. Well last Thursday I was sure it was all over and that we could move on to trying again. On Monday I had an HCG blood draw to make sure everything had gone back to normal. The results were in Tuesday morning and our nurse called and said for some reason our numbers were still really high and I needed to come in as soon as possible. So iM and I went in only to find out that the numbers were 11000 and that could only mean one thing, I was still pregnant. We were hoping for a miracle as we began the ultrasound. As the scan went on we realized that we had an almost 8 week old baby with a heartbeat not in my uterus but in my right Fallopian tube and would need surgery that day. Talk about a horrible thing for us to see and hear. This kind of thing only happens in less than 1% of IVf patients and it had to happen to us! I was that amazingly low 1%.Tuesday night I had surgery were both tubes were removed do to damage. We are very hopeful that things can only go up from here and this kind of thing can not happen again. We all still have our hearts set on trying again. And have very high hopes after seeing that both embryos that were transferred had taken to some degree, still this is a very sad time for all of us involved we are trying to see that this time maybe was not meant to be and that next time things will be different. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and I will try harder to keep you all updated. Thanks again for reading and following our story.

Finally an update

 Hello everyone, sorry it has been so long since my last post. But there has been a lot going on. And to tell the truth it is with heavy heart that I write this post.

 On Wednesday night just before bed I had noticed a small amount of blood when I was getting ready for bed, Which made me very nervous so I had called my IPS to let them know about it and we all decided to wait it out and see what the morning would bring. When I got up Thursday everything was fine, no more blood not even a little. I decided to be on the safe side, I would call our nurse and let her know what had gone on and she had reassured me that most likely everything was fine and that I should just take it easy for a couple days and wait for our ultrasound on the 6th. So that was my plan but boy did things change very quickly. Within an hour and a half  of speaking to the nurse I was doubled over in pain in my left side and I knew I needed to get to the hospital. I spent most of the day having multiple tests performed to tell me that I had a cyst rupture and that everything would be fine and they released me to go home and rest with a follow up u/s the next morning with my RE Dr. to check on the baby.

 Friday morning I went in to the u/s feeling quite confident that all was well with the baby and they would reassure me that the baby was doing great. Well that was not the case at all in fact it was very hard for them to even see a gestational sac due to blood covering the sac. But from what they could see the sac was measuring much smaller than it should and they could not see anything in the sac. Can I just say devastating news!!!  I was sent to have more blood work just to make sure that the u/s was true. Later that afternoon I received a call that they needed to see me and the IPS early Saturday to discuss our options. We had one more u/s to check on the outcome for sure and the results were the same. The baby had not proceeded like it should and there for our only option now is to stop all meds and prepare for a miscarriage.

 With that news we were all very saddened, but know in our hearts that these things happen for a reason! We are all in this together and have decided to try again, Which should be June or July. I will continue to post and hope you all will stay with us through this very upsetting time and continue on this journey with us as we try again. Thank you all for reading and rooting us on. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

On a Roll

Hello everyone, so we are on a roll beta numbers more then doubled at 427. Yay, so exciting! We have an ultrasound scheduled for April 6th in the afternoon, so we will keep you all updated. Thanks for reading.

Beta numbers are in..........

Drum roll please!!! So the beta numbers are 195! So we are officially pregnant. Yay!!! Most likely I am only carrying a singleton. Not twins, but still happy with what we got. We are very blessed to have this work the 1st time. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I have another beta test on Wednesday so I will let ya know how it goes, the number should double by then so fingers crossed!

Feeling Positive

Hello everyone, Tomorrow is Beta test and I can say that I am feeling very good about it. In fact I am feeling down right POSITIVE!!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha, I bet you are wondering what I've got up my sleeve....... Well I started peeing on sticks at about 5 days  after the 5 day transfer and got very discouraged by all the negatives I was getting, every morning I was racing to the bathroom with my first mornings urine with high hopes only to get shot down. By Wednesday I  just knew it was all over, it had failed and there for my uterus had failed and that made me emotional, in fact I cried all day. But none the less I just kept testing still getting what I thought were definite negatives, but I had this feeling that I needed to take a second look (which I might add is not supposed to be done because after 10 minutes the test results are not reliable), I dug the last two tests out of the garbage and my thoughts as I looked them over was oh my are my eyes deceiving me..... I see two very very faint positives. Not knowing whether or not to trust my eyes or the timed out tests I had my hubby take a look and see what he thought, he assured me he also saw the lines but he said I'm just not sure you should trust the tests now. With his answers I quickly knew that I should not tell the IPS until I was sure. So as we had planned we would do 1 more test on none other than good ol St. Patty's day and boy oh boy was it our lucky day, still somewhat faint we got a Positive test that didn't come from the trash. I tested again this morning and Got an even darker line, So I'm finally feeling very good about it. This whole process has been nothing short of a miracle and there is only one thing to say and that is Thank God, For if not for him nothing we have done would have ended in this amazing little life/lives that is growing inside my body. I will post tomorrow some time with the beta results so stay tuned and thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Ha ha ha just kidding.

My last post said 5 days til transfer, what I meant to write was 5 days til beta test. Ha ha ha sorry to confuse everyone.

5 days til transfer

Just a little post, I am still hopeful everything is going to work out. Just need a little faith, trust, and baby dust. Please keep praying for a great outcome. Thanks for reading my thought on the day :)

2 Week Wait is no joke

Hello everyone, I have heard that the two week wait is no joke and I always thought to myself, I am going to make myself so busy during our 2ww that I wont even think about it and it will fly by. Now I am positive the joke was on me with that idea. First of all it is great excitement with the transfer and thinking how awesome it is to finally be to this point. Then that excitement wears off and I am stuck in bed for 2 days were all I have to think about is what is going to happen, what if this doesn't work, wow this is great, oh my what was that twinge in my uterus, why am I feeling cramps, ect.... you all get the drift. Then I get off bed rest thinking yay now I can get busy and make the next week and a half just fly by, and soon realize that even if I am busy the fact is it is always on my mind.

I am trying to stay positive about the outcome because I have been experiencing some tell tell signs like the cramping and breast tingling and a slight change in body temperature. And all of that is making me crazy because it is way to soon to test. Then I start thinking that I may just be feeling those things due to all the hormones I am taking.I have been talking to IM and she like me is going crazy. The out come of this means the world and then some to them, I am glad that I am not in their shoes because I am going crazy as it is.

I just keep trying to remember what our nurse said at the transfer "After today this is out of all of our hands". Please keep all of us in your prayers in hopes that this huge miracle will happen for these two deserving people. Thanks for reading my ramblings. More to come shortly I'm sure being that we are only 5 days post transfer. And the 1st beta is still a week away.

Transfer day gossip

  Hello everyone, So I am just sitting here in bed with my feet up relaxing, feeling very loved by lots of good friends and family. I am very blessed to have such great people in my life. 

 Okay on to the good stuff! I woke up this morning with a great feeling of  giddiness ,I was like a kid that was heading to Disneyland for the first time. We got to the RE's office and were taken back to the transfer room and then the embryologist came in to let us all know what quality embryos we were going to be working with. The news could not have been better. We all agreed to transfer two embies with a 37% chance of our goal to get twins. So after we did the transfer we got to hang out and chat for about 30 minutes and then I was released to bed rest for 2-3 days.So here I sit,LOL!!!! Everything went great and now I just can't wait for the beta test on the 19th. Prayers for two lil beans growing and doing great in there. Thanks for reading and I will be posting again very soon.

Transfer day pictures

This is right before the transfer Yay!! Wearing our lucky hoodie and socks



This is my yummy gift from the IPS!
Thank you guys, you are the best.

Moving on and Moving in

 Hello Everyone, So IM had her retrieval on Friday, They were able to get 15 eggs. What a great number that is. I was so excited for her, more eggs means more chance of having the best embies we could get. Then it becomes a waiting game, leaving them to fertilize and grow. This morning we got word that out of the 15 eggs 13 were mature,10 fertilized and 9 are growing the way they should be. WOW what awesome eggs!

 Due to how well IPS have done in getting these little babes where they are, We are right on schedule for a Wednesday transfer. I have to just say that I feel like we have been so blessed in this whole process thus far and can only pray that it keeps going so smoothly. From the first meeting up to now there has been no real hold ups and that is the best we could have ever asked for.

 As for me and the wonderful PIO injections it is going day by day the first went great,then the second one hurt like the dickens. Last night went really well again. So I hope that maybe I can be so lucky that the 2nd one was just a bad spot and we will continue to have luck with them. And can I just say that my hubby is doing a great job being the nurse. He is amazing. The day after the always reminds me of the shots as my behind on a daily basis feels as though I have done buns of steel for 12 hours straight.LOL!! But this is exactly what I signed up for and I know that it will all be worth it when I see my IPS holding that lil bundle or bundles in their arms.They are truly two of the best people I have ever met and am so glad I can join them on this journey. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers as we enter this final stage of round one and stay tuned for the beginning of round to it is sure to be an exciting ride. As always thank you for reading.

PIO #1

Say hello to my not so little friend! Hahahaha but it actually wasn't bas at all.....hubby did an awesome job. Thank you babe:)